At first, it feels like love.
They tell you you’re special, that you belong. They give you structure, purpose, and a promise: follow their path, and you’ll be loved forever.
But slowly, the rules become chains. Love is no longer freely given; it's something you must earn.
Praise when you obey. Punishment when you don’t.
Soon, you learn to punish yourself. Guilt becomes your shadow, making you question every thought, every impulse.
They teach you that your desires are dangerous, that questioning them is betrayal.
You’re nothing without them.
If you try to leave, you’ll be lost.
If you challenge them, you’re ungrateful.
If you express anger, it proves you’re broken.
They don’t need to lock you up—you do that yourself.
You hesitate before stepping outside the lines, doubting yourself so deeply that you seek their permission before making any choice.
And then, one day, it hits you:
You never chose this.
Your identity was shaped before you even knew what choice was.
But this isn't just about an abusive relationship.
This is how the church operates.
This is how religion moulds identities before people realise they had a choice.
Even if you've never set foot in a church, you might still carry its scars—because those who shaped you were shaped by it first.
The Catholic Church, and many other institutions, have perfected this blueprint.
They offer love while controlling every aspect of your life.
They claim to protect while keeping you trapped in fear.
They demand loyalty while making you feel too weak to leave.
This isn’t just about religion—this is about control.
You see it in abusive families, toxic relationships, and authoritarian systems.
Manipulation, gaslighting, isolation, guilt, punishment, and the illusion of choice—these patterns are ingrained.
And here’s another thing they stole from you:
Your right to consent.
You were conditioned to override your own boundaries.
You were never taught that your body was yours.
You were never taught that your emotions mattered.
Saying no meant punishment, guilt, shame.
You were never given fundamental education on consent—because autonomy threatened their control.
And now, as society shifts and conversations around consent become louder, you might feel uneasy.
That’s not failure—that’s trauma recognition.
Consent isn’t just about sex.
Consent is about reclaiming the choices that were stripped from you before you even knew you had them.
The guilt, self-doubt, fear of questioning, need for external validation—these are symptoms of religious trauma.
They say you’re free to choose, but by the time you’re old enough, you’ve been conditioned to choose them.
It’s time to question that voice in your head that says you’re not enough.
Who would you be if you’d never been taught to be afraid?
Your spirituality is yours to reclaim, free from imposed narratives.
You don’t have to carry this anymore.
And you never actually needed them to begin with.