We've all been there, right? Growing up, we were told to respect authority – parents, teachers, the police. But looking back, how much of that "respect" was actually fear in disguise? Fear of punishment, of judgment, of not measuring up. It took me years – and some furry wisdom – to realise that true respect has nothing to do with fear. It's about understanding, trust, and setting healthy boundaries.
My journey started in a pretty traditional religious household. Like many families, my parents followed the teachings they were raised with, often influenced by the church. Now, I don't blame them at all. They were just doing what they thought was best, passing down those age-old lessons of obedience and, let's be honest, control. But it definitely left its mark on me. I carried that baggage of fear-based "respect" into my adult life, affecting my relationships, my work, and even my own self-worth.
But then came my canine crew – Zeus, my German Shepherd mix, along with Ruby, Moose, and Nyx. These furry gurus turned my world upside down, teaching me invaluable lessons in patience, presence, and the limits of my own reactive behaviour. When I first started training Zeus, I admit I was all about control. "Bad" behaviour? Shut it down! Looking back, it was a mirror image of my own upbringing – emotions suppressed, actions controlled, zero space for understanding.
Here's the thing: dogs – just like people – don't thrive under that kind of pressure. They respond to genuine connection, consistent energy, and rock-solid trust. My dogs were my wake-up call. Their resistance to my controlling ways forced me to confront a tough truth: my behaviour was a direct reflection of my own less-than-ideal childhood. Ouch.
It was a painful realisation, acknowledging that my well-meaning parents might not have had the tools to create a healthier environment. But hey, no blame here. They did their best with what they knew. But that realisation lit a fire in me. It's on us, right? To break those cycles, to learn from the past, and to choose respect over control for our kids, our pets, and ourselves.
This journey taught me that respect means meeting others where they are, about understanding and working with their instincts rather than trying to mould them into something they’re not. My dogs needed me to lead with empathy, not intimidation. And in turn, they helped me re-parent myself with that same kindness. They taught me that real, lasting relationships – whether with animals, humans, or even myself – are built on a foundation of respect, not control.
This whole experience has also got me thinking about the bigger picture – the violence and anger that plague our society. Here in Australia, we're having important conversations about violence against women and the crucial Stop it at the Start campaign. But I believe that to truly eradicate violence – against anyone – we need to dig deeper. We need to address the root cause: anger and the insatiable thirst for control.
Don't get me wrong, campaigns like Stop it at the Start are doing incredible work by promoting respect and empathy in young people. But we can't stop there. As many have pointed out, violence isn't just a women's issue; it's a societal disease stemming from toxic norms, unchecked anger, and the normalisation of control disguised as power.
If we want to build a safer, more compassionate society, we need to shift our focus from control to connection. Just as I’ve learned with my dogs, it’s not about shutting down or imposing fear; it’s about fostering respect, understanding, and patience. It’s about seeing people, not as problems to be controlled, but as individuals with their own experiences and needs. This applies to every relationship, every interaction, every single social issue we face.
So, if you’re on a similar journey – questioning old rules, unlearning those fear-based patterns, and discovering what true respect really means – you're not alone. It’s a challenging path, but it’s so worth it. Celebrate your progress, and give yourself credit for choosing a path that aligns with your true self, not the expectations of others.
True respect is a daily choice. Let's choose it for our animals, our children, our partners, and ourselves. By fostering respect, we're not only healing ourselves but contributing to a world where compassion triumphs over control, and understanding conquers fear.
Keywords: respect, fear, control, dogs, relationships, parenting, violence, anger, compassion, empathy, Stop it at the Start, Australia, social change, personal growth, self-worth.